Kids after Separation – The challenges that follow

Separation of parents is bound to have a pretty deep and disturbing impact on kids. It takes children quite a significant amount of time to get used to this fact and it becomes an extremely stressed out and anxious period for them. It’s a natural reaction – literally the most important thing for them is shaken up and uprooted and they need to digest it, taking their own time. As a result, kids after separation turn out to be quite different.


Reactions of kids vary a lot depending on the age group of the child. Smaller children, basically in the pre teenage phase can possibly react in an aggressive manner and not listen to reason. Teenagers often try to put up a brave face but it affects them a great deal and they try to channel their energies in some other direction. College students are relatively more mature in dealing with this but it does have an adverse impact on their lives too. Many times, children need counsellors after the separation to help them come to terms with what’s happening. Generally their confidence levels plummet and social as well as academic spheres get badly affected. Moreover, there are financial strains on the kids if they are in a single parent household. Such kids are likely to develop anger, rule violations and other psychological problems. They start blaming their parents for everything and completely dread it when one parent badmouths the other.

Penelope Leach at her home in Hampstead for Helen Wethers interview
Penelope Leach at her home in Hampstead for Helen Wethers interview

The other side of the coin

Though on one hand, there are so many disadvantages for the kids in the long run but on the other hand, it’s been seen in many cases that there are children from parents who are separated who don’t go through these extreme emotional and behavioural traumas. They instead turn out to be more resilient and this especially happens when the divorced parents do a really good job and handle their separation in the best way possible for their kids. Nevertheless, these strong kids also often have sad memories and worry about their relationship with their parents. All in all, it’s a great challenge for the kids as well as the parents when it comes to parents’ separation and it must be dealt with in the most sensible way, keeping in mind how each and every move could scar the child for life and what can be done to ease their pain.

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